Knowing when to quit
Quitting can be hard. It feels like something we don’t always want to talk about. People might judge us, or we might judge ourselves for failing if we decide to end something — whether it’s a job, a relationship or another circumstance that no longer serves us.
When I was younger my family used to question my decisions to leave jobs or move countries and try to insert their risk-averse nature into me. I had to justify my choices whilst they would argue their perspectives of why I should stay. They had to learn to quit hassling my decisions.
I’ve had a few situations that have got me thinking about quitting, and knowing when to quit. I see these in coaching sessions and have experienced them in the past too.
These aren’t exclusive but these are a few of the situations that lead to change.
Values are burning
We all have values that drive the actions we take and the choices we make. I have a value of freedom, telling me what to do often jars against that value. Sometimes I have to turn it down when it doesn’t need to be switched on, but most of the time it supports me in being curious and exploring new things. When I feel trapped in something I need to check in and decide whether to check out.
Lost contribution
Everyone wants to feel like they add value to something, if it’s hard to see how you are contributing to the bigger picture then it can be hard to keep motivated. Feedback is valuable here, asking people for it can help you to see the contribution you bring when you cannot.
Learning has stopped
Knowing things can be hugely comforting and provide certainty in a pretty uncertain world. There is always something new to learn but I have found in previous roles if I get to the point where I’m no longer interested to dig deeper and know more then it’s time for change to happen.
Screaming intuition
Intuition is a hard one to explain, but if you can access and tune into it, it is full of lots of useful information. Sometimes alot more useful than thinking, especially in relationships at home or at work. When I am doing something or with someone where my gut is screaming at me to head the other way, it’s important to listen to it and know it’s time to reevaluate.
The thing about quitting is you don’t know if it will be a good idea or not when you do it. You need to trust yourself.
Quitting isn’t always about ending, it can be about beginning. Deciding to quit is taking responsibility for the choices that lie ahead.
Experience tells me that not quitting and ignoring all the signs can end up being the harder choice.
